I Have Pretty Feet

You know how some runners develop really nasty looking feet? Callouses. Black toenails. Dry patches. That's not me.

I find that the more I run, the prettier my feet get. When I am not running, my feet suffer. But when I am running, even running and biking a lot like during Ironman training, my feet get softer, clearer, prettier. Heck, they almost like baby's feet.

It wasn't always like this. When I first started running, I lost toenails. Lots of 'em. But that was because I am, what is the word I am looking for? Oh yes. Stupid. I am stupid.

Back in 2003 when I first started running, I just went out and bought a pair of running shoes. No measuring or any such nonsense like that, I knew what size my feet were after all. They hadn't changed since high school. Running shoes size 9 please. How much? Thanks.

What difference would it make anyway, the front part of my big toe had been numb for years anyway.

So. I ran. And I lost toenails. That is just the price you pay for running.

But then a funny thing happened. I was going on a business trip for a potential acquisition and I would be visiting a warehouse that required steel-toed shoes. So I went to buy some. Size 9 please, says I.

Shoe Guy: Let me measure your feet, steel-toed shoes can be quite unforgiving.

Me: No need. Shoes please.

Shoe Guy: Dude. Humor me.

Me: Fine.

[Measuring]

Shoe Guy: A dude? Your feet are a 10 1/2.

Me: Say what?

Shoe Guy: 10 1/2. So you have any problems with your feet?

Me: Besides my big toe being numb for years and my toenails falling out when I run? Not a one.

So now I wear 10.5 or even 11 on my running shoes and my feet have been prettier than peaches ever since. I also attribute the natural beauty of my feet to my minimalist approach to running but that is a different post.

I am looking at them now. They pretty. My wife says my big toe is too big. But I say they call it BIG toe for a reason and that her slightly larger toe is the weird thing. They call it Big toe, not slightly larger toe. Right?