On The Right Trail

I sometimes go through periods in my running, like some periods in my life, where my soul feels as barren as a desert.

One of the things that I love about running is that it empties my head of the mundanities of life. It creates a space, a vacuum, that can be -- will be filled up with something else. But what else?

As the title of this blog indicates, I view running as a spiritual exercise. Penance. Virtue. Cardio.

But it is also a sport. For the past few months, and in particular the last two months, my running had been almost entirely focused on my preparation for the Philly marathon. And in the weeks since, recovery. That space that running is supposed to empty filled up with me. What pace should I run the marathon. How will I do? What should I wear? Am I ready? And since... Could I have done better? When will I be recovered? Why do I still feel so lousy?

That space got filled up with a lot of me and that has killed the joy of running for me. No room for thoughts about God or family, too crowded in there for that.

So it was that this weekend as I began my Saturday run, I took a right turn into the woods. I had been avoiding trail running in my lead up to the marathon for fear of turning an ankle on the uneven terrain. But since that was now behind me, I decided to risk it.

At first my thoughts stay focused on my running form. Lift your feet. Watch the trail. But after a little bit, I got more comfortable again. But for the first time in a long time, my mid did not fill up with me. Instead, I marveled at the late day sunshine coming through the now barren trees. I remarked to myself at how the stillness in the deep woods made the world feel a little warmer. I enjoyed the strain of the steep uphills and the feeling of gliding on the downhill. And I thanked God for it. It is easy to miss the beautiful in life when our heads are filled with me. I thanks God for this natural beauty. I thanked him for my ability to run.

And most of all I just had fun. The most fun I have had running in months. And all I needed to do was forget about me for a moment, and God filled the vacuum with lots of better stuff. Better stuff that actually makes for a better me. For the first time in a while, I was on the right trail.

Posted in: trail running