Nose To The Grindstone

Ok. Happy fun time is over. Time to start focusing again.

The holiday season is almost over and all I have to show for it are these 2 extra pounds. While I have been exercising in the month between Thanksgiving (and post marathon recovery) and Christmas, it has all been ad hoc. I run when I feel like it, I swim when I can, and I bike when I can. There has been no schedule.

While I have been running fairly steady, albeit with greatly reduced mileage, the other sports have been extremely inconsistent. And my eating, well I have been doing plenty of that.

So I am off this week between Christmas and New Year's and I plan to run everyday and get my mileage and intensity back up for the next few weeks to get ready for the Manhattan half on January 21.

I kicked things off with a 13 mile run yesterday. I started off fairly easy the first 8 miles and then picked it up a bit coming in just under 2 hrs for the run. It felt good although I am a little stiff today as this is the first run over 10 miles I have done since Philly.

Starting next week, I am back on a schedule. January is an introductory month to get me steadily doing all sports and double workouts most days. This is to get me ready for my actual IM training plan which begins in February.

NOW. I. HAVE. TO. STOP. EATING.

GOtta lose these last 10 (+2) pounds by the end of January. I don't want to worry about weight as I begin the IM training program.

Vacay is over. Nose to the grindstone.

The Devil In These Details!

You know the phrase "the Devil is in the details?" No seriously, the Devil is in this detail.

The Ironman US Championship just published the elevation chart for IMNYC. No look at it and tell me what you see?

I don't care what you say, those are Devil horns!!!

4000 ft of elevation gain. Up. Down. Up. Down.

That is an evil, evil elevation chart and so the Devil horns are just confirmation of its evil progeny. I am from Long Island, we don't have hills like that. How am I supposed to train for this?

But no matter. This is what I signed up for. Ahab said it best....

"Aye, aye! and I’ll chase him round Good Hope, and round the Horn, and round the Norway Maelstrom, and round perdition’s flames before I give him up. And this is what ye have shipped for, men! to chase that white whale on both sides of land, and over all sides of earth, till he spouts black blood and rolls fin out. What say ye, men, will ye splice hands on it, now? I think ye do look brave."

Aaarrrggghh!!!

I Have Pretty Feet

You know how some runners develop really nasty looking feet? Callouses. Black toenails. Dry patches. That's not me.

I find that the more I run, the prettier my feet get. When I am not running, my feet suffer. But when I am running, even running and biking a lot like during Ironman training, my feet get softer, clearer, prettier. Heck, they almost like baby's feet.

It wasn't always like this. When I first started running, I lost toenails. Lots of 'em. But that was because I am, what is the word I am looking for? Oh yes. Stupid. I am stupid.

Back in 2003 when I first started running, I just went out and bought a pair of running shoes. No measuring or any such nonsense like that, I knew what size my feet were after all. They hadn't changed since high school. Running shoes size 9 please. How much? Thanks.

What difference would it make anyway, the front part of my big toe had been numb for years anyway.

So. I ran. And I lost toenails. That is just the price you pay for running.

But then a funny thing happened. I was going on a business trip for a potential acquisition and I would be visiting a warehouse that required steel-toed shoes. So I went to buy some. Size 9 please, says I.

Shoe Guy: Let me measure your feet, steel-toed shoes can be quite unforgiving.

Me: No need. Shoes please.

Shoe Guy: Dude. Humor me.

Me: Fine.

[Measuring]

Shoe Guy: A dude? Your feet are a 10 1/2.

Me: Say what?

Shoe Guy: 10 1/2. So you have any problems with your feet?

Me: Besides my big toe being numb for years and my toenails falling out when I run? Not a one.

So now I wear 10.5 or even 11 on my running shoes and my feet have been prettier than peaches ever since. I also attribute the natural beauty of my feet to my minimalist approach to running but that is a different post.

I am looking at them now. They pretty. My wife says my big toe is too big. But I say they call it BIG toe for a reason and that her slightly larger toe is the weird thing. They call it Big toe, not slightly larger toe. Right?

Computer Meltdown Kills Workout Plan

Murphy's Law.

Saturday I tried to do a backup of my laptop and let it run while I was out. When I got home, it said failed. No biggie, I will just do it next week.

Sunday. Computer gets hosed and will not boot.

Monday. Tried everything known to man to fix the boot problem. No luck.

Monday night. Returned to a 6 month old backup although I did have copies of my more important files.

Tuesday. Restoring everything I could track down and catching up on 2 days lost work.

While I managed to get runs in on both days, that was all. No swimming. No biking.

Six miles in this morning at an easy 9:30 pace. I hope to get a bike trainer workout in tonight. As long as nothing else blows up....

Ho-Ho-Ho Race Report

Today was 5k day. I haven't run one in a while and I had the marathon in between, so I really didn't know what to expect. Based on experience and judging my fitness, I thought I had it in me to run a 23:30, but I didn't have a lot to go on.

I got no sleep last night, tossing and turning the whole night. This turned out to be a good thing because my Iphone alarm was set to go off on weekdays only and never alarmed. As it was, I woke up on my own just ten minutes late. Got dressed and hit the road for the 45 min. drive to the race in Bethpage.

I got there about 90 minutes before the race. I like to be there early for a number of reasons. First, I was doing race day sign up. It was $5 more but I like this option just in case it rains. But the weather was perfect. I got there, signed up, and got my sweatshirt with no lines. Reason #1 I like to be early. Then I went back to my car to stay warm for a bit. Then, as everyone else began to arrive I made use of the biological facilities before the lines formed. Reason #2 I like to be early.

With my business out of the way and about 50 mins to race time, I jogged a mile. My pre-warm-up warm-up. Back to the car for a few minutes. Then with 25 minutes to race time, I jogged out a half mile and then ran back with a few fartleks at 5k race pace.

The line was already beginning to form near the start so I joined it and tried to stay warm. This race only had a gun start and 1400 runners, so I didn't want to be too far from the front and lose a lot of time on the clock. I ended up about 10 rows back.

The gun went off and I tried to keep a reasonable pace. I settled in behind this dude who was wearing tight red and white shorty shorts, a race shirt from 1989, and green christmas tree ear rings. He was easy to keep sight of for obvious reasons and running about the right pace so I decided to stick with him for a while.

First mile clocked at 7:30 even. Given that it took me about 10 seconds to get to the starting line after the gun, around a 7:20 I'd say. Mile 2 I just tried to keep steady but I think I took my foot off the gas a little too much and hit mile 2 at the 15:02 mark. I picked up on the first half of the 3rd mile and passed a few people but I didn't try to sprint or anything. Just nice and steady, this was just a B race at best for me and really just a point in time measurement as I begin my next phase of training.

I came across the finish line with a clock time of 23:35. So in reality I'd put it at around 10 seconds faster given the start. Let's call it 23:30 even and a 7:35/min pace. All told, kinda where I expected to be. I am happy in that I did not seem to lose any fitness since the marathon and my lower mileage schedule. I would like to get the 5k below 22 mins by spring.

Now I begin my abbreviated half marathon training for the next couple of weeks getting ready for the Manhattan half on January 21. That gives me 3 solid weeks of training to see if I can get under 1:50 there.

All in all, a good day.

Posted in: 5k,race report

I Love 5ks. I Hate 5ks.

Ahoy. It's race time again.

Life permitting, I will be running the Ho Ho Ho Holiday Run 5k tomorrow morning.

I love 5ks. I hate 5ks.

I love 5ks because you get all that race day energy. A good crowd. Camaraderie. Race bling (Sweatshirt in this case). Butterflies in your stomach. And you get a point in time measurement of your fitness.

I hate 5ks because they make you want to puke. You are running all out for 3 miles. There is no reserve, you use it up and hold on for dear life. Crowded. One little mistake and there is no time to recover. That friggin' 12yr old girl who runs right by you at the end!! And you get a point in time measurement of your fitness.

Now, I try to have perspective. Up until this point I have been doing only long and slow, there is no reason whatsoever that I should expect a good performance in this race. That said, I don't want to have a bad one either which I define as slower than half my 10k time from October. In that race I ran a 49:52. So I want to run sub 24:30 but I would prefer 23:59. But I don't know what to expect. I haven't been doing fast.

Oy. Shut. Brain. Off. Now.

Did I mention I hate 5ks? I can't wait...

Posted in: 5k

Flip Turns And Answered Prayers

There is nothing natural about it.

You come in to the wall, you turn yourself upside down, blindly reach for the wall with your feet, push off and hope you are headed in the right direction.

Flip Turns. I have dreaded flip turns for as long as I have been swimming, which is going on 9 years now.

This whole time, even though I swam 5 times a week at points, I never learned how to do flip turns. Oh sure, I tried a few times, but it was always so disorienting and uncomfortable, I quickly gave them up. In this way, flip turns are a lot like prayer. Some of us may like to pray more, but every time we do it we feel uncomfortable. It is disorienting and we don't immediately get anything out of it, so we give up. What's the point?

So like I said, I never learned how to do flip turns. When I started training again back in June, I tried a few flip turns and gave up for the same reasons I always have. Let me just focus on swimming, flip turns aren't really that much better anyhow.

But since I was just getting back into things and was not in any way competitive, I decided that now was the time. I checked on the google machine to find the best way to do it and person after person said this. "The only way to learn how to do flip turns is to do it a thousand times. Do it a thousand times, and you will have it."

So it was that I started doing flip turns a few months ago. And let me tell you this. It. Was. Awful. Water up my nose. Breathing all off. Missing the wall. Too close to the wall. Ending up in the wrong lane after push off (this happened 3x.) So embarrassing....

I was all over the place and my swimming suffered. Actually, I couldn't even think about swim mechanics as I swam because all my attention was focused on the next flip turn. And so it went for weeks. But over time, I missed less and less and I learned how to time my breathing and my approach stroke better. My push offs became straighter and straighter.

And lo and behold, by the time I reached my 1,000th flip turn, I had it down. I didn't even really need to think about it anymore. So I began to re-focus on my swim mechanics and then I noticed something.

There is a guy that often swims at the same time as I do. We often share a lane as we swim at the same speed and so we don't get in each others way. He doesn't do flip turns. Recently he was swimming in the lane next to me and our speed still matches up. But when we get to the wall, I am now a full body length ahead of him coming off the wall. No extra effort, but a full body length advantage on each lap. Wow, it turns out there is a benefit after all, you just have to suffer repetition and patiently learn and then suddenly its all clear.

Prayer can be the same way. It feels awkward and pointless when we first learn to pray. We repeat the prayers we know over and over again because that is all we know how to do. It seems pointless. Awkward and seemingly vain repetitions with little or no discernible benefit. But if we stick with it. If we do it a thousand times. Suddenly prayer becomes easy and realize what we have been missing all along. Virtues can be like that.

So now my prayers have been answered and I can finally flip turn. Now I should do a flip turn and finally learn to really pray.

Posted in: prayer,swimming

Happiness Is A Warm Bed

Temptation.

Happiness is a warm bed. That was all I wanted this morning, to stay in my nice cozy warm bed.

I did a triple 45 workout yesterday. I ran for 45 minutes in the morning. Swam for 45 minutes at lunch. Rode on the bike trainer for 45 minutes last night after dinner. Not that any of it was particularly intense or anything, but I was tired.

When my alarm rang this morning, I looked out at the dark and said to myself, "I can skip today. Or maybe I can run at lunchtime. Or maybe I should just take the day off."

I am not a morning debater usually. If I debate what to do each day, nothing good can come of it. When tempted to turn off the alarm, I yell at myself internally to "Just get up and do it, idiot." And I do.

But this morning Lincoln and Douglass were going at it in m head. Just get up. Listen to your body, you need rest. BS, you're just lazy, get up. Rest is an important component of training. Training is an important component of training, loser.

The debate raged. Finally, after a few minutes I reluctantly dragged my tired self out of bed and got dressed. I wish I could tell you that once I was out there doing that I felt great. Sorry, I didn't. I felt tired and sluggish the whole way. So I just slowed down adding 20 seconds per mile onto my "slow and easy" and went "slower and easier." 1.2.3.4.5.6. Done.

I did it. I was tired, am tired but I did it and I remind my self that it is days like this that make Ironmen and saints. And there are only 240 days just like it left before the race. Now I need a nap.

Posted in: running

Why Can't You Just Be Normal?

Why can't you just...

I get this question a lot from my wife, my family, and my co-workers.

Why can't you just be normal? Why can't you run a little and eat reasonably just to be fit and healthy? Why do you have to be focused on some ridiculous event like a marathon or an Ironman? Why do you have to have a race to train for in order to stay motivated and not let your body go to hell? Just train a little to stay fit. Why can't you just be normal.

Answer: I haven't the foggiest idea.

I have a co-worker who frequently asks me some version of this question. I don't get him just as much as he doesn't get me. He has, in the 16 years I have known him, stayed in a 4 pound range. He gets up early in the morning, runs on the treadmill or rides the life-cycle and always watches what he eats. At least in this regard, he is the poster-child for steadfastness and moderation. He has no interest in racing and probably never will.

I am not that guy.

For reasons I can't explain, I need the events as a focus to stick to my plan. I can stick to it for years and I have in the past as long as I have a succession of goals to train for. But, as has happened several times, when I quit racing I quit training and my weight goes up faster than the space shuttle.

The thought has occurred to me that if I were a better person, I could do it just to do it. But I am not. I am a bad person. I am like that guy who only thinks to pray when he needs something and the rest of the time he completely forgets.

But that is me and I have learned to accept it. So I need the events. That is not the worst thing in the world. So now I plan to plan my events a year out so that there is always something out there to keep me focused.

Why can't I just be normal? I dunno. Maybe I will figure it out one day. In the meantime, let's race.

Posted in: training

Running The Tangents

Every runner knows the marathon is 26.2 miles. That is how far you run to cross the finish line. Except it isn't.

There is such a thing called the tangent. It is the length of the course in a perfectly run race over the shortest possible distance. In order to do this you must run perfectly straight lines from corner to corner over miles and take each turn perfectly to run a minimum 26.2. I am usually at 26.4 or more.

But in marathons as in life, nobody runs the tangents perfectly. Nobody.

We all make mistakes, in what we have done and what we have failed to do. Whether in training, racing, or life--we never execute perfectly. You miss workouts, or you go out too fast in a race, or whatever causes you not to do your best. Accept it. You can't change it. All you can focus on is what your are gonna do today.

I read in an IronMan training book one time (I forget which one) that you should never try to make up for a missed workout. Just get back on schedule and do the right thing today. You can't change yesterday. I think that is good advice.

So while nobody runs the marathon in a perfect 26.2, the important thing is to get to the finish line. That is a good lesson to remember whether you run marathons or not.

Ho No! A Return To The 5k

So next weekend I am gonna run a local 5k called the Ho Ho Ho Holiday Run. I did this event a couple of times some years ago and I always enjoyed it.

I did some 5ks over the summer and early fall as speedwork during my early marathon prep. But that was a while ago. The last time I ran "fast" was mid-October when I did the Rock n Roll 10k in Brooklyn and I haven't done a 5k since September I think. The point is, I haven't run fast in a while and I am wondering if all my speed (what I had of it) has disappeared.

With my long training, tapering, and recovery running fast was just not part of the plan. But now I am beginning my training for the Manhattan Half-Marathon January 21 so speed work is definitely part of the plan. So it is with this in mind that I want to run this 5k. That seems logical. Here is the illogical part. I am afraid of what I might find.

Over the summer as I progressed from fatty to less fatty, my 5k times steadily improved. Each time I raced I got relatively faster.
August 10 - 5k - 29:37. Crazy slow and I felt like I would puke. But at least it was under 30 mins.
August 17 - 5k - 28:04. A little less slow but a pretty big improvement for a week.
August 31 - 5k - 27:02. Two and a half minutes off my 5k in just 3 weeks. Still slow but moving in the right direction.
September 10 - 5k - 26:04. Three and a half minutes off. If I keep this up, 2 more months and I will qualify for the Olympics!!
September 17 - 10k. 54:33. First big race at the very hilly Cow Harbor 10k. Not much of an improvement but given the distance and terrain, I wasn't unhappy.
October 22 - 10k- 49:52. I ran each 5k in this race a full minutes faster than my 5k just a month ago.

So up until October I had seen some pretty steady improvement in my running speed. But other than a few pick-me-ups during my other runs, I haven't done any speed work in 2 months. So I don't know what to expect in this 5k. I just don't want to go backwards.

In my head I am hoping to go under 24, but I really don't know if this is possible. I am also planning to do a 5k series in January leading up to the half as speedwork for the half. My goal is to get down to 22 minutes for the 5k by the end of this so I can go under 1:50 for the half. This is, of course, subject to change as I see how my body responds to renewed speed training.

I want to work on speed now for come spring, I will be all about long and slow as I get ready for the IronMan. But for now, I want speed. Speed is what we need. Greasy. Fast. Speed!

Posted in: 5k,training

And It Stoned Me

This is a piece I wrote a few months back about the day I became a runner again.

Oh, the water; Oh, the water; Oh, the water
Hope it don't rain all day

And it stoned me to my soul
Stoned me just like Jelly Roll
And it stoned me
And it stoned me to my soul
Stoned me just like goin' home
And it stoned me

--Van Morrison

The dread. I looked out the window, as I had all morning and the rain was still coming down. Hard. Sunday is the day on my plan that calls for a long run and my schedule tomorrow did not allow for a postponement. I had been checking the sky and the Nexrad radar all morning to see if it would break. By 1 o'clock in the afternoon it became clear to me that it wouldn't stop.

So a decision faced me square, raised its head, looked me in the eye and asked the question. Will you run today or not?

I used to be a runner. I remember the days, just a few years ago, in which I would run for hours on the trails and among the expansive woods that surround my house. When I say I used to be a runner, you have to have been a runner to know what I mean. When you are a runner, running is as close to heaven as you are likely to find on this earth. When every part of your body works in perfect harmony to propel you forward and to give you joy.

Your lungs, your heart, your legs, and even your sweat glands all doing what the things for which they are designed. Separate. Together. All in perfect harmony. You hear the birds chirp and feel a slight gust of wind as the ground slips beneath your feet. You don't think about running when you are a runner any more than a bird thinks about flying, its just who you are and what you do. On a day like that, I don't know how any rational being could be an atheist, God seems everywhere.

But these are all memories to me now of how things used to be. Five years ago I gave it up for all the same 'practical' reasons that people don't go Church. Too busy. Other priorities. What am I really getting out it? Blah. So now the memories of God seeming to be everywhere are just that, memories. It is easy, sometimes, to convince myself that it was never really that good. Not really.

A few months ago I took up running again, but it seemed that my former lover would not forgive or forget my abandonment. Each and every run for the last several months has been an ache filled slog as far from joy as hell is from heaven.

I looked out the window and the rain continued to pour down, running in rivers on the side of the street. Thirteen miles in this? That's crazy, I thought. I dreaded it.

But I put on my shoes and my hat. My wife asked me as I headed out the door, "Can't you just skip it today?"

"No. Not today."

And so I headed out into the rain which, for the first few miles, alternated between drizzle and light rain. And then the sky opened up. Rain poured down by the bucketful. The sides of the roads were rivers. I ran a serpentine path down the middle of the street trying to find the highest point between the cambers in order to avoid the deepest puddles. Sometimes there was no camber to be found and I ran through puddles that increasing resembled ponds and lakes.

And the rain poured and the miles went by. And then I noticed something. Actually, I not noticed something. Me. And it stoned me to my soul.

As the rain washed over me, I felt a baptism of sorts. The rain, it seemed to me, had washed away the sin of abandonment. The purgatorial slog was gone. My legs turned over without me willing them to do so. I just ran and it felt good. I was happy. The joy was back. My sins had been forgiven and God once again seemed everywhere. I had been welcomed back.

The rain continued to wash over me and each drop and each mile seemed to say 'Let us have a feast. This brother of ours was lost and has been found. We must welcome him back. A runner."

Running High Brings Me Low

I don't what studies indicate about the impact of altitude on training, but I really felt it yesterday.

While I live on Long Island, I am in Denver this week on business. I ran yesterday and I never felt like I could get my breath. Nothing dramatic, just a little sluggish and out of breath. I differentiate the sluggishness from the usual off day as I typically feel the "offness" in my legs. This was different. I was running easy but I kept feeling the need to take a deep breath.

I swam this morning and I had the same feeling. I have trained in Denver many times over the past months but never experienced this feeling as much as I did these past days.

Maybe I am fighting something or maybe it is the cold dry air that is making the difference, I dunno.

I will be back at sea-level tomorrow, we'll see if the feeling persists or disappears. If I am gonna feel lousy, it should at least be from a hangover. At least I feel like I get some benefit. Hangovers with no booze, fugghedaboutit.

Uncomfortably Numb

Dumb.

I am in Denver this week and I got up before sunrise for my morning run. It was a crisp -4 degrees F. I dressed in layers, everywhere but my hands.

All I wore on my hands was a pair of knit Saucony running gloves. As the rest of me warmed up, my hands started to feel cold after the first mile. No worries, as soon as I warm up some more they will feel fine. They didn't feel fine.

My hands got colder and colder, number and number. By the time I got to 2.5 miles out I decided to head back or else I might be in real trouble. I hauled my butt as fast as I could over the ice and the snow to get back to my hotel. For the last mile, my hands hurt really really bad.

I got back to my room but my hands were so completely non functional that I couldn't use the key card to ope the door. It took me ten minutes to get my door open. As blood began to return to my hands, the pain was excruciating. This pain lasted a good 20 minutes. After that the pain subsided, but the tips of my thumb and first 2 fingers are still tingly numb 12 hrs later.

I just wasn't prepared for this kind of cold. It is supposed to be warmer tomorrow, a whopping 9 degrees in the morning, so not taking any chances I went to Walmart today and purchased a pair of the biggest and warmest mittens I could find.

I am convinced that a little while longer out there this morning and I might of done permanent damage. I should have been prepared. Cold can be every bit as unforgiving as heat.

On The Right Trail

I sometimes go through periods in my running, like some periods in my life, where my soul feels as barren as a desert.

One of the things that I love about running is that it empties my head of the mundanities of life. It creates a space, a vacuum, that can be -- will be filled up with something else. But what else?

As the title of this blog indicates, I view running as a spiritual exercise. Penance. Virtue. Cardio.

But it is also a sport. For the past few months, and in particular the last two months, my running had been almost entirely focused on my preparation for the Philly marathon. And in the weeks since, recovery. That space that running is supposed to empty filled up with me. What pace should I run the marathon. How will I do? What should I wear? Am I ready? And since... Could I have done better? When will I be recovered? Why do I still feel so lousy?

That space got filled up with a lot of me and that has killed the joy of running for me. No room for thoughts about God or family, too crowded in there for that.

So it was that this weekend as I began my Saturday run, I took a right turn into the woods. I had been avoiding trail running in my lead up to the marathon for fear of turning an ankle on the uneven terrain. But since that was now behind me, I decided to risk it.

At first my thoughts stay focused on my running form. Lift your feet. Watch the trail. But after a little bit, I got more comfortable again. But for the first time in a long time, my mid did not fill up with me. Instead, I marveled at the late day sunshine coming through the now barren trees. I remarked to myself at how the stillness in the deep woods made the world feel a little warmer. I enjoyed the strain of the steep uphills and the feeling of gliding on the downhill. And I thanked God for it. It is easy to miss the beautiful in life when our heads are filled with me. I thanks God for this natural beauty. I thanked him for my ability to run.

And most of all I just had fun. The most fun I have had running in months. And all I needed to do was forget about me for a moment, and God filled the vacuum with lots of better stuff. Better stuff that actually makes for a better me. For the first time in a while, I was on the right trail.

Posted in: trail running

In Between Weather

As the saying goes, some like it hot. Some don't.

The weather has been so variable here in the Northeast, It has been hard these days to know how to dress. Each night before I go to bed I have to scrutinize the weather report to figure out how I am going to dress in the morning. One day I am in full summer regalia, the next day I wish I wore my winter hat.

I love autumnal running. The early mornings during October and early November are much cooler and drier than the preceding summer months and it feels great. Clothing choices are easy. I still wear my summer clothes but enjoy the fresh coolness.

Late December through early March is easy too. Its gonna be cold, so be prepared.

But this time of year can be tricky. Day by day it changes. One morning this week it was 59 degrees in the morning. The next day it was 36 degrees and windy. I never know how to dress. I hate to be warm but I also hate to remove layers as I go.

AS a temporary solution, I have been adopting a summer/winter setup that gives me the maximum flexibility. I have been wearing shorts and an Under Armour heat gear shirt with a very light tech shirt over it. I can wear this kit comfortable up to 60 degrees. But I also wear my winter skull cap and gloves. This will keep me warm into the low 30s. I might be a little chilly at the start, but I warm up quickly. If it gets too warm, I just remove the cap and gloves and tuck them into my waistband.

I know I should be happy that the weather has been warm, but I don't like to have to think at 5:45am. I just wanna get going. In another coupla weeks I will have my wish. Dress warmly, 'cause its cold outside.

You Look Like Crap

You look like crap. Sickly. Weak. Pathetic.

Would you ever say such a thing directly to someone? I doubt it.

However, a curious thing comes over people when speaking to a person who has lost a significant amount of weight.

Over the past 7 months or so, I have lost almost 70lbs. Of course, that makes a big difference in my appearance. But the truth is, I was over 70lbs overweight. Simple math indicates that I still have some weight to lose, not much but some, maybe 10 lbs. Trust me when I tell you that this will not put me in the Christian Bale/Machinist category. This is still just regular weight loss.

So the language that people use to describe my appearance surprises me. But it seems like it's only ok to speak to people this way when they are losing weight. And I am not talking about family members. My brother Matt calls me a skeleton or some such thing because he is fat and jealous with a mean streak. That doesn't surprise me. What surprises me is the language people who are mere acquaintances and/or work colleagues will use when speaking to me.

The other day, a guy I am friendly with in the office told me not to lose any more weight because I look sickly. Sickly, he said. Another woman at the coffee machine asked me if I plan to lose any more weight. I said "Just a few pounds. Maybe ten, we'll see." She answered back, "Oh no, don't do that. You won't look good." All the while she was shaking her head and looking at me with a mix of pity and disgust. I could give several more examples of this kind of odd behavior.

Why, when people are losing weight, is it ok to comment negatively on somebody's appearance. Could you imagine telling someone at work, "I wouldn't put on 10 more pounds if I were you, 'cause you will look like crap." Or "Boy, you are getting plump. You look sickly." If you said such a thing, people would consider you extremely rude and HR would swoop down on you faster than Michael Moore on a box of donuts.

So why is it that when people lose weight, it is suddenly considered within the bounds of good manners to tell them they look like crap?

Maybe I look like crap and maybe I don't, but keep your opinions to yourself.